A day to honor moms, and one or two in particular

I’m half way through mother’s day. It’s been a solidly great day so far.

I woke up unnaturally early to participate in the local Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I’ve been doing this ever since losing my aunt to breast cancer a few years ago. I would never say she lost her battle because, quite frankly, she was the strongest woman I’ve ever met. And, she fought her personal experience with cancer so patiently and with such grace that it might not even be accurately described as battling or waging war or some other violent analogy. She was an amazing human being. And, though the anniversary of her passing doesn’t occur on or around Mother’s Day, I always think of her all day on this day. I think of her not just because I spend the first half of every Mother’s Day participating in the race—being among nearly 50,000 other people remembering or celebrating women affected by breast cancer—but it’s also become a family tradition that my husband, children and I look forward to doing. I love spending time with my family as a family…laughing, squabbling, whatever. It’s my family. And, honestly, without them I wouldn’t even be a mother. So, I choose to spend the whole day with them (minus the naps I had to wrestle them into after the race. Don’t children ever get tired?!?!) But, yes, I enjoy spending mom’s day with my children. I also like to relax and thus, draw the line at performing any tasks that would qualify as household maintenance like chores, cooking or laundry . It’s important to me that I spend time with my own mom, too—I feel fortunate to live not so far from her. So, we’re going to dinner with my parents as well as my brother, sister-in-law and nieces. Sounds typical? Or worse, mundane? It isn’t.

My son gave me a beautiful present this morning that he made by himself in preschool. He was so proud. He hid it in a secret place and couldn’t wait to play scavenger hunt with me to find it. It brought tears to my eyes not because of my urge to imagine looking back on that moment 20 years from now and feel nostalgic, but rather I chose to cherish him now and appreciate him for the silly, thoughtful, sometimes stubborn little guy he is. I’m thankful that I’m his mom. I’m thankful that the little guy gave me an opportunity, a reason to be a mother…even on these days when I have to coax him to do things like take a nap after a long morning of pulling his sister in our wagon through a crowd of thousands.

Happy Mother’s Day all!

Happy Earth Day 2008

In keeping with my pledge earlier this month to spend as much quality time with my children as possible, I am going to capitalize on the beautiful weather we’re having today in my fine city and spend the entire day outside. I even packed a picnic. I can’t wait!

Looking for things to do to celebrate Earth Day? Check out these online resources. Each is packed with cool ideas and info:

 earthday network

kaboose’s earthday page

The nature conservancy

planetpals

and these:

arbor day foundation

trees are good

organic gardening

Happy Earth Day to you all!

Vegan Apple Cinnamon Flax Crunch Mini Muffins

This morning, my son was so excited that it was his turn to bring snack to his pre-school class that I wanted to make something special. With his help, I put this recipe together quickly. These tasty little muffins were ready in no time thanks to a little help from Hodgeson Mill.

Vegan Apple Cinnamon-Flax Crunch Mini Muffins

Preheat oven to 425 degrees

    Dry Ingredients

1 Cup Hodgeson Mill Whole Wheat Buttermilk Pancake mix
2 Tbsp almond meal
1 Tbsp milled flax seed
1/4 Cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
3 tsp turbinado sugar
1/2 very ripe pear, minced

    Wet Ingredients

4 oz. container organic apple cinnamon yogurt (I used the one for toddlers with fruit and cereal on bottom)
1 Tbsp flax oil
1/2 tsp vanilla
2-3 tsp cool water
3/4 Cup (or enough to make a moist batter) soymilk

    Topping

1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp turbinado sugar
2 Tbsp Brown Sugar
1 -1 /2 Tbsp Milled Flax Seed

Grease or line mini muffin pan cups. Mix dry ingredients thoroughly with wisk. Combine wet ingredients and add to dry. Stir until just combined but don’t over-mix. Place one teaspoonful in each muffin tin cup. Sprinkle topping on each. Bake 12 minutes. Remove from oven, and let rest/cool in pan 3 minutes. Remove muffins from pan and cool completely. Makes 24.

A beautiful perspective on women in childbirth

We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong. ~ Laura Stavoe Harm

April brings focus on parenting

It’s April first. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time doing non-parenting activities. I’ve been doing quite a bit of activities for myself. While they are great projects—being on the Rec Board of my Borough; studying for professional certifications; writing for this site; training staff at a local small business—I am discovering that something’s amiss. Although it’s worthwhile work I’ve been doing, I have to admit that I feel a disconnect happening between my children and me. Not a huge isolating, neglectful disconnect. Rather, a feeling that I miss the great amount of time we usually spend together. And, I can tell they miss it, too.

I’m a stay at home mother which translates into I have alot of plates spinning in the air at one time. And, in my case (and, I don’t think I’m alone here), the spinning plates have begotten more spinning plates. So, this month I’m going to focus on being a mom. An Attentive mom. Flying kites. Playing board games. Mending torn superhero costumes. Baking bread. Singing silly songs. Practicing phonics and mathematical equations. Setting a positive example. Reading new and interesting books together. Taking long springtime walks in the park. Whatever the concept of being an attentive mother might present, well, I’m going to do that.

And, the rest of it may just have to wait until May.

Understanding the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle during childbirth

I’ve heard through a few different sources that a local hospital specializing in woman care currently has an epidural rate of 91%. That means that 91% of pregnant, laboring women admitted into the hospital are administered an epidural. And, according to statistical data, this local percentage is right in line with a national trend. 91%. Such a high, almost unbelievable rate makes me question how many of these women actually need it? How many are convinced that there is no other alternative to experiencing labor and coping with the discomfort that ensues?

This brings up the issue of how women experience childbirth pain. Or, more importantly, the issue of how—through the media and other social avenues—culture promotes certain expectations and images of the event of childbirth. And, how these premeditated images effect the experience of labor and delivery of every woman—both emotionally and physically.

Dr. Grantly Dick-Read studied the phenomenon of the Fear-Tension-Pain syndrome. He observed the ways in which the expectations of pain lead to the experience of fear which leads to whole body tension which causes an increase in the experience of pain which leads to an increase of fear and so on. Seem simple? Well, it is, unless you’re the person trapped in this cycle feeling as if there is no way out. Thanks to Dr. Dick-Read, there are many, many ways in which women can become aware of the inaccurate, often negative social attitude and perception of labor, overcome these cultural misconceptions and have a positive, healthy childbirth experience.

Let’s look at a basic model of the fear tension pain cycle.

This fear-tension-pain cycle is a Big issue. It addresses at least two major areas of concern about childbirth:

  • how women can be prepared for and supported through childbirth in order to drastically lessen or eliminate the expectation for and experience of pain—not discomfort, but pain at any level
  • how can our Health Care Practitioners be better educated and equipped to provide information and support to their patients.

With the information that Dr. Grantly Dick-Read has presented, it may even be possible to change our perpetuated cultural understanding of birth and allow for women to begin to see it as a more peaceful, natural—less frightening—event that requires less pressure to be “brave” and more encouragement to be empowered.

Want to learn more about Dr. Dick Read and his groundbreaking approach? Check back to earthmother.org as we explore the fear-tension-pain cycle and how understanding it can be used toward a positively fearless birth.

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