Tips for a New Parents Adjusting to Caring for a New Baby
I preface the following with a few remarks. Anyone who knows me would probably include in a description of my personality fun, loud, scatterbrained and/or well-meaning with a good heart . OK, maybe I offer these observations as a result of my own current introspection. I say all this because after reviewing the following, I thought, “these tips seem sort of milquetoast; common sense at best. That being said, new parenthood could and does test one’s patience to the absolute limit. And, if you are lucky enough to have two beautiful, lively children such as mine who my father describes as “sucking the life out of me,” any non-patronizing advice might help you get through the day…not to mention those relentlessly long nights.
Becoming a new parent demands a lot of change in a short amount of time. It can be very challenging to have a new baby. Give yourself time to become comfortable in your new role as a parent. Allow yourself a period of adjustment. Most importantly, have confidence in yourself and remember that you can do this.
All babies cry, and all parents go through the process of learning to calm and care for their babies. It’s something we all go through. Parenting an infant really is just about learning what to do when trying different responses to baby’s demands. Don’t lose heart!
It may surprise you that this will really help keep you calm! When baby is crying or you are having a difficult moment, take a deep breath and/or count to ten. It really does help to keep you from feeling overwhelmed. It’s also a great way to remind you to take one thing at a time.
Even taking five minutes to sit while baby rests in a crib, swing or bouncy chair can do wonders to recharge your batteries. And, it’s good to keep in mind that as baby gets older those five minute breaks will turn to ten and fifteen and twenty…
That nesting instinct is really powerful. Many moms feel compelled to keep busy—doing paper work, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc—while baby is resting. The best piece of mothering advice I’ve ever heard came from my grandmother who said, “when the baby sleeps, you sleep.” Caring for a baby takes a lot of energy. Try to remember to care for yourself, too, and take a rest!
Understanding baby basics:
- Sometimes it takes time for parents and newborns/infants to get to know each other—even into the first few months. Give yourself time to learn her cries and body language. This will help you understand what she needs.
- Babies cry for many, many reasons. So, just remember there are many methods for soothing. It may take a few different tries before you find something that works.
- Babies respond very well to routines because they learn what to expect at different times of the day. In this way, baby can learn to anticipate when her needs will be met, and will become less likely to cry or fuss. The more you can schedule your day the better. A daily routine can be as simple or detailed as you’d like. (see sample routines section)
- The Big Five. Babies usually cry because it’s their only way to communicate that they need something. The most frequent reasons why a baby will cry are hunger, gas/needing to burp, needing a diaper change, sleepiness and stimulation (too little/too much.) A useful rule of thumb is to think about these needs when baby begins to cry. Literally, go through the list in your mind: when was the last time baby ate? Does she need to burp? Does she need a diaper change? Is it time for a nap? Is it too loud or is there too much activity? Does she need to move to a quieter room/space? Is there too little activity? Does she need more stimulation? In many cases, as you run through the list, you’ll find the response that baby is trying to elicit by crying to communicate a need.
Starting a Routine
- A daily routine is a great tool in forming a solid parent/ child relationship because it lays the foundation for what each can expect from the other. You can be encouraged knowing that from such a young age you and your child will build trust, communication skills and respect simply by creating a pattern of activity. A daily routine can be simple or detailed depending on your preference and need.
- In general, for younger infants most of the day revolves in a cycle of eating, burping, diaper changing, light activity and napping. As baby grows older and more independent, you can begin to add more age-appropriate activities and to space these events out further apart to accommodate your child’s growing desire to move, play and interact with others. Likewise, you’ll notice that you’ll be able to gradually take increasing time for yourself.
- As a general rule, 15-20 minute increments work best with their attention spans. In some instances, the schedule below uses 30 minute increments simply because most activities take longer when caring for an infant. It will also give a cushion for unexpected events.
A Daily Schedule of Caring for an Infant
7:00 Wake. Good morning Baby! Change diaper
715 Breakfast (Baby and mom).
7:45 Burping and digesting.
8:00 Change diaper. Let baby lay on blanket for a few minutes. Swaddle her if she likes.
8:15 Light play. Talk. Sing. Read a book.
8:30 Naptime for baby and mom
10:00 Wake. Change Diaper.
10:15 Snack (Baby and Mom). Make sure mom drinks enough fluids/water
10:45 Burping and digesting.
11:00 Check diaper. . Let baby lay on blanket for a few minutes. Swaddle her if she likes.
11:15 Activity time can include:
holding baby and walking around the house and telling her about her environment, Singing to her, reading a book, looking at pictures, taking her for a walk outside,
11:45 Check Diaper. Quiet time.
Noon Lunch
12:30 Burping and Digesting
12:45 Naptime. Mom rests, too.
2:00 Wake. Change Diaper.
2:15 Snack
2:45 Burping and digesting.
3:00 Play time /Activity time
3:30 Quiet time. Let baby sit in swing, bouncy chair, or rest on a blanket
3:45 Change Diaper.
4:00 Short Nap.
4:45 Wake. Check diaper.
5:00 Light play.
5:15 Quiet time. Let baby sit in swing, bouncy chair, or rest on a blanket while mom gets ready for dinner.
6:00 Dinner
6:45 Burping and digesting
7:00 Bath, night time clothes (pajamas), read a book, sing lullabies
7:45 Night time feeding. Burp. Bed.