Part Two of Two: Why Choose FAM
By Red Pen Mama (earthmother’s sister-in-law)

In the first part of this series, I talked a little bit about the “how” of the Fertility Awareness Method (also known as Natural Family Planning). The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH, is an in-depth look into FAM, and should be closely read by everyone interested in using the method.

Although FAM provides information about when you are fertile by charting signs of ovulation, it is not just a method for pregnancy achievement or birth control. All women of menstruating age can use FAM to learn about their individual cycles. FAM provides valuable information about what is normal for you and your body, and can be used to make all types of health care or family planning decisions. It can even provide a clear answer to the question, asked by doctors, gynecologists and midwives the world over: “When was your last period?” How often have you guessed the answer to that question? “Oh, I think it was the first week of April, maybe? Or was it late March?” With FAM, you can simply refer to your chart and have an exact date.

A Few Reasons Why You Should Use FAM

1. As a birth control method, FAM is hormone free. If you choose to have intercourse when you are ovulating, you can be sure to “double up” on the barrier method you choose, for example, using both a sponge and a condom.
2. It is easy. As I said last time, it requires commitment to follow, but once you learn how to chart your cycle, it is a piece of cake.
3. It doesn’t take a lot of time. Last article I compared it to brushing your teeth. FAM takes about the same amount of time to follow – maybe two minutes a day, total, less than brushing!
4. It takes the guesswork out of your cycle. Over time, using FAM tells you how long your cycles tend to be, if you ovulate, when you tend to ovulate (Day 11, Day 17, Day 25?), when to expect the start of your period (you can schedule vacations so you don’t have to deal with the hassle of pads and tampons!), and, if there is a problem, you’ll see it right away and have the information you need for your healthcare provider.
5. You will know if you are pregnant. If you have 18 or more high temperatures after your thermal shift, congratulations! You’re going to be a mother. You’ll even know the likely date of conception, another important day for your healthcare giver to know.

Why I Use FAM

The primary reason I use FAM is because I am 36 years old, and the side effects of hormonal methods of birth control grow more dangerous after age 35. I find most barrier methods inconvenient, distasteful, or uncomfortable. But for the record, I also use FAM because I am Catholic. Natural Family Planning is condoned for family planning by the Catholic Church, and that means a lot to me and my faith relationship with God.

When my husband DearDR and I married, we knew we didn’t want to start a family right away. We used condoms, but neither of us liked them because of the lack of sensation – and, as Catholics, we wanted to be stronger in practicing our faith. I had been on the Pill for seven years in my 20s, and now at 30, I didn’t want to start it again. I stumbled onto Taking Charge of Your Fertility, learned the method, and faithfully applied it. We abstained (or did “other stuff”) during my fertile time (only a few days, usually about a week), and enjoyed worry-free intercourse the rest of my cycle.

After a year, we decided to start trying to have a baby. We didn’t have to try long; the first time we had sex near ovulation, we conceived my son, Gabriel. Unfortunately, Gabriel was stillborn at 37 weeks, a heartbreak we will never get over.

Six months after our loss, we were tentatively ready to start trying to have another baby. Three months later, using the signs of ovulation to plan our intercourse, we again conceived. Today we have a healthy and happy little girl, Monkey, who will be three years old in November.

Then, I must admit, FAM took a backseat. I stopped charting altogether. Oh, I would occasionally tell DearDR that I had fertile fluid, and we would abstain (or whatever), but I wasn’t charting or using any birth control (unless you count the “withdrawal” method — and you shouldn’t!). Thus was conceived our sweet Bun, definitely on the early side of our five-year plan. By about a year. (DearDR still doesn’t believe she’s his because no one in his family has ever been that early.)

I am using FAM again. It is a little challenging now as I get early wake-up calls from our 9-month-old daughter. Also, I am still breastfeeding, and that definitely impacts my cycle, usually by delaying ovulation (I have many of days of fertile-quality fluid). But I know what to look for, and DearDR and I know we are not ready for another. If we decide to try to add to the fun, FAM will let us know if we can, and will give us the signs to provide optimal success.

Part One of Two: The Basics of FAM
By Red Pen Mama (Earthmother’s sister-in-law)

A Little about Me
I am the 36-year-old stay-at-home mom of two girls, Monkey (turning 3 years old in November) and Bun (9 months old); I lost a child in 2003 (pertinent to the discussion in Part II), my son Gabriel. Like Earthmother, I advocate for natural childbirth, midwifery, vegetarianism (my two girls and I are vegetarians), and, well, just a lot of things that you find on this site. Earthmom & I are quite like-minded.

She asked me to write about the Fertility Awareness Method for her site, and I am quite honored to comply. I have been using the Fertility Awareness Method for most of my 6-year-old marriage to DearDR. FAM is also known as Natural Family Planning (NFP), but for brevity’s sake, I’ll just refer to it as FAM. It is my chosen method of birth control, but it has other far-reaching benefits, which I will talk more about in Part II.

What You Need to Know about FAM

Most of the discussion here is taken from the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH. I am not going to teach you how to chart your cycles; please, please go to the book to learn how to use FAM.

The most important thing to know about FAM is this: it is not the Rhythm Method! The Rhythm Method is based on the premise that the menstrual cycle (from period to period) is 28 days, and that ovulation occurs on day 14. Although this is true for some women, it seems safe to say that it certainly is not true for most women. I, for one, have never had a 28-day cycle; my cycles have always been on the long side, from 32 to 36 days (and occasionally longer). So let’s forget all about the Rhythm Method, and learn about what FAM truly is.

FAM uses three signs of ovulation to determine the ins and outs of your menstrual cycle. Some of the things you will learn about using FAM are:

• The best time to have intercourse if you want to achieve pregnancy;
• When to avoid intercourse or use a barrier method of birth control if you seek to avoid pregnancy;
• When to expect your next period;
• Whether or not you are even ovulating;
• Whether or not you are pregnant.

The three signs that you will learn how to chart are: waking temperature (also called basal body temperature); cervical fluid; and cervical position. All you need is a digital thermometer, a way to keep track of your temps and observations (charts are available in Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but you could probably devise your own if you wanted) and a little patience as you learn FAM.

Let me assure you right upfront: FAM is not at all difficult to learn or use. It does require a serious commitment, but once it becomes a habit, it’s as simple as brushing your teeth. Really, I am not exaggerating – just as you learned to brush your teeth at least twice a day (or after every meal), you can apply FAM throughout your cycle to know what is going on with your body.

In a nutshell, this is how you practice FAM. Every day:

• Before you do anything else when you wake up in the morning (roll over to kiss the hubby, get up to pee), take your temperature;
• Check your cervical fluid throughout the day (you can check when you go to the bathroom; you can use your finger or toilet tissue);
• Check your cervical position (this step is optional; I haven’t used it, and FAM is still effective for me);
• Chart your findings: waking temp, fluid and/or vaginal sensation, and cervical position.

You will observe the signs that are natural and normal for you. Day 1 of the chart is the first day of your period. If you are ovulating, you will clearly see the changes in your cervical fluid from dry, to sticky, to creamy and then egg-white (the most obvious sign of impending ovulation) and back to dry or sticky until your period. Your temperatures will fall into a certain range until ovulation, and then there will be a thermal shift (your morning temperatures will increase). If you do not get pregnant, 12 to 16 days after the thermal shift, you will have your period.

Other things you can note on the charts provided in TCOYF: when you have sex; if you use a barrier method of birth control (if you know you are ovulating and you don’t want to get pregnant); miscellaneous things that can affect your cycle. You may even note physical changes, such as breast tenderness, bloating, irritability or a tendency to tear up (when I start PMS’ing, I can cry during a diaper commercial) that let you know premenstrual syndrome may be coming on.

See Also: FAM for You: Why you should choose FAM

Cloth Diapering is not exactly the norm these days. It’s estimated that a mere 10% of families are choosing cotton to cover their babies’ bottoms. Not quite a widespread phenomenon.

In fact, many parents of our parents’ generation chose disposable diapers, which back then was “the new advancement in diapering.” No Mess. No Laundering. Just roll it up and toss. Sounds great and convenient. Back then, they just didn’t put much forethought into where all those diapers would go after use.

There are few parents who haven’t heard the statistics that it takes 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose or that the average baby uses 8,000 diapers before being potty trained. The convenience of disposables versus the cost savings and environmental-friendliness of cloth poses quite a dilemma.

For a variety of reasons, I diapered my first child with disposables. Because I was never completely comfortable with it, I potty trained him at 2 years when he showed the first signs of interest. Thankfully, he happily trained quickly.

With my second child well into toddlerhood, I began to notice an increasing number of women in my social circle were choosing (adorable!) cloth for their babies. I decided to explore the subject to see if it would be a viable option for me so late in the game.

I met Lisa Clarke of greenearthbaby.com, a wonderful online cloth diapering shop, who graciously showed me the ropes. I also tested out g-diapers—a diaper that combines the convenience of disposables with the earth-friendliness of cloth. Both of these experiences have reassured me that convenience is not all it racked up to be.

I started to question myself as to why I hadn’t explored the option sooner. I headed to a host of national retailers to reinforce what the average American mom has at her easy access. I visited several local shops including Babies R Us, Toys R Us, Burlington Coat Factory’s “Baby Depot,” Target, and Kmart. (As a matter of personal choice, I do not patronize Wal-Mart and did not include them in my experiment.)

It turns out that the national retailers only carry the old-school rectangular cotton cloths that have to be folded, pinned and used with a plastic cover—the most inconvenient offering on the market. No fitted diapers and certainly no fitted diapers with sewn-in covers (all-in-ones) were to be found. The plastic covers for sale are the old elastic-legged, pull-on covers that aren’t exactly easy to put on a squirming child. It’s no wonder I hadn’t had exposure to cloth with my son. These selections showed no signs of representing 21st century advancements in technology.

Couple the lack of availability of cloth with the market saturation of disposables, and it’s not difficult to put two and two together. The big name companies have made billions of dollars by making it so easy to use disposables that most parents find them to be the obvious choice.

That is, until parents begin to realize that they could save thousands of dollars by using cloth, even with the extra water usage that’s required for laundering. Likewise, if more parents were aware that toddlers tend to potty train up to a year younger when diapered in cloth—and, thus be free of the whole ritual sooner—many may be swayed to switch.

Or, perhaps if the disadvantages were more widely known, disposables may seem less attractive. One undesirable aspect of disposables is that they are saturated with a host of chemicals; a fact that presents health risk concerns such as higher incidence of asthma and potential for lower sperm production post-puberty. And, of course, there is the ever-present issue of the environmental impact of non-decomposing plastic and rotting waste in dump sites that scientists say will likely become hosting grounds for disease. Not a pretty picture for our children’s future.

So, what’s a modern woman to do? The best place to buy and learn about cloth diapering is online. You can read countless reviews of brands, opinions about use as well as some incredibly compelling research. It’s the perfect forum to learn with zero pressure to buy. Then, it’s your choice to buy from an online store or search for a retailer in your area.

And, judging by the online testimonies of thousands of parents, you will be inspired to make that initial purchase of swaddlebees or kushies. And, like them, you will probably join the growing numbers of parents who have fell in love with using cloth on their baby’s bottoms.

See also:

Cloth Diapering 101

Cloth Diapering on greenearthbaby.com

More great diapering information sites:

National Association of Diaper Services

Diaper Pin

the diaper hyena

What incentive does a modern day mom have in choosing cloth diapers instead of disposables?

They’re a lot of fun, says Lisa Clarke—a local expert on cloth diapering who created greenearthbaby.com a full-scale online diapering store. As more mothers are exploring alternatives to the plastic disposable diapers that have virtually monopolized the business, Lisa has answered the call. If you are lucky enough to live in the Pittsburgh area, you can benefit from one of her in-home instructions that aim to demystify the process. And, demystify it she does. With so many options available nowadays, she will not only explain the choices, but will customize a layette (collection of babywear essentials) to your needs. Lisa is also a certified childbirth educator and mother of two, so she speaks from experience and is simply a great person to know.

I decided to contact Lisa to learn more about diapering my toddler. I knew so little about current trends in cloth diapering that I chose to use disposables the first time around. Now, with my second child well into toddlerhood, I figured better late than never.

I spent the better half of a late summer morning with Lisa as she explained that the current cloth options go well beyond folding and pinning (see cloth diapering 101.) She gave me a complete overview of diapers, tackling everything from pre-folds to “fitteds” to all-in-ones. And, yes, she even gave me a tutorial on how to fold and pin an old-school cotton diaper. We discussed general laundering and care. By the end of the instruction, I was able to confidently buy enough to get me started.

I’ve been using cloth for several weeks. I admit they are a bit more maintenance than disposables, but not unreasonably so. The biggest adjustments were having more direct contact with my toddlers output (to put it politely) and the need to launder her diapers. Lisa’s tips on wash and care were very helpful and made the transition less painful. I have found that I’ve gotten into a rhythm with it and truly wish I had taken the plunge much sooner.

My best advice would be to begin using cloth diapers as early into parenthood as possible. This will be the most cost effective, and you’ll won’t have to change habits and routines midstream like I did.

Yes, Lisa was right. Cloth diapers are cute. And, soft. And, easier than I imagined. If you’d like to learn more about cloth options or to schedule your own private instruction visit greenearthbabycom. You may just find that cloth diapering your baby can be fun and not at all what you expected.

Have you ever wondered what to do with all of the clothes, toys, books, puzzles and just general kid gear that accumulates around the average home? A group of women in Pittsburgh, PA took on the challenge of finding something useful to do with these items and had a ton of fun in the process.

The Recycle Circle is a group of moms and tots getting together for a morning of instituting the three R’s, all under the guise of playing, relaxing, and having fun. The goal is to Reduce Reuse Recycle—that is, reduce the amount of unwanted misfit toys that get thrown away and end up in landfills by trading/sharing with another family who will reuse, recycle, and give them a new home. Likewise, the hope is to reduce the amount of money spent on mountains of toys and, instead, provide these items for other families with young children—especially those who may not otherwise have the resources.

For this first event, I partnered with Mary Beth Yount, the director of the Brookline Kids Preschool, a free preschool program at Brookline Boulevard U.P. Church. Mary Beth graciously offered one of her preschool classrooms for us to use. The location was great because the children had a great time playing in the kid-friendly space, and it easily accommodated this initial gathering of 30 people. With everyone bringing a light-lunch-type dish to share, we had more than enough food for all the guests, and the preschool had tables and chairs for the kids to sit and eat. As for the donations, each mom brought bags full of toys/books/clothes/like items that were in good condition and suitable for sharing. Truthfully, the amount of gear brought was well beyond what was expected! We had a blast browsing the goods and selecting items to take home. The browsing and sharing was a great ice-breaker for those guests who had just met. It was good to see everyone getting into the spirit of things, and at one point I wondered aloud, “why is it that our friends toys are usually more fun than our own?” The kids enthusiastically agreed.

The mountains of great items remaining were donated to two locations where families will be able to take items free of charge. The first receiving charity is our local Angel’s Place house where assistance is given to young mothers who are in need of support and resources. The second location is a new Family Resource Room at Brookline Boulevard U.P. Church. Inspired by the Recycle Circle concept, Rev. Marsha Sebastian ,the pastor at the church, has donated an entire room for items to be available to anyone in the community. In less than a week, director Mary Beth has already gotten the room organized and ready to welcome guests. The room will provide clothes for both kids and moms as well as toys, books, puzzles, and even bigger items such as baby baths and bouncy chairs. In addition, the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank will provide jars of natural baby food; making the Family Resource Room an extension of the already existing on-site Food Pantry. With the well-equipped free preschool program, the Family Resource Room and the Food Bank, the church is truly a unique community center for families in the Brookline area in the city of Pittsburgh. I tip my hat to these remarkable programs and the passionate way in which these ladies serve their community!

Do you want to start a Recycle Circle in your community?? We encourage families to create a group among their friends and families to keep the circle spinning. If you would like more information on how to start a Recycle Circle, check back to earth mother next Wednesday, August 15 when we’ll share some tips and guidelines that helped make this first event so successful. We can’t wait for the next Circle!

If you have a family-serving charity in the Pittsburgh area that could benefit from our next Recycle Circle, please contact our admin e-mail: admin@earthmother.org

Today we’re kicking off the first day of World Breastfeeding Week by posting a fabulous video chronicling the birth of the La Leche League. The League began in the 1950’s when seven revolutionary women held their first meeting. Their aim? To support the women in the community who wished to breastfeed their babies but found few resources. The group was so successful in promoting awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding that subsequent chapters formed in other communities and, eventually, the LLL spread nationwide. Currently, the LLL is considered the foremost international breastfeeding support organization. Thought by some to be a militant group of suburban moms, the LLL is anything but. They are simply just a compassionate group of women who strive to be a listening ear and provide positive encouragement for moms who take on the sometimes difficult task of breastfeeding. You may be surprised by the origins of the organization, the easy-going nature of it’s founders, and the global impact the LLL has made on mothers and babies in the last 50 years. Check it out!

For a thorough resource of breastfeeding information, check out the La Leche League’s seminal publication The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.