While researching an article, I stumbled upon a blog that has caused me to gasp and take pause. It’s the first of its kind that I’ve seen, written by an obstetrician whose goal is to debate current practices surrounding “natural” childbirth (quotation marks, hers), the midwifery profession and, with much froth and fervor—homebirths. Despite her medical degree and based upon her tone and stance, I am truly concerned about the author’s ability to reasonably and responsibly council her patients/audience.

Her presentation is aggressive, combative and judgmental; well beyond harmless ranting. Rather than truly debating these topics, the author—whom I’ll call Docblog—addresses the subject of natural childbirth advocacy as if its very existence is a personal attack on her and her medical profession. She refers to supporters of natural, unmedicated birth as irresponsible, reckless, and uneducated people who don’t know what they’re talking about. She is not furthering the discussion of responsible practices. She aims to end the discussion with hers as the final word. And, that I find most disturbing.

While it may seem unlikely that I might admit this, I am grateful to her for her belligerent confrontation of natural childbirth advocates. I am thankful, because I am reminded that anyone who attacks a debate from a defensive posture elicits my skepticism—as in, why all the bellicosity? Why are you so defensive? Where does this topic hit so personally that you lose all reasonability which would give any merit to the other side? And so, with my skepticism aroused, the gauntlet is thrown down to educate myself further. Truly, Docblog has reignited a desire in me to continue my inquiry into information about these subjects and their many associated perspectives. After all, in the legendary words of Francis Bacon, Knowledge is power.

Acknowledging Sir Bacon’s observation gives me pause to consider the many women I’ve met or been in contact with through this site who espouse a fundamental mantra in supporting natural birthing: Be informed. Be responsible. Be prepared. In my experience, it’s women who have actively sought out information about pregnancy, labor and birth that most often choose to attempt birth without medical interventions. Ask a woman who has chosen an unmedicated birth to define meconium, locate the perineum or debate the side effects of commonly used narcotics during childbirth, and she’ll do so without blinking. Many women who have chosen midwife-assisted care can cite the works of such groundbreaking practitioners as Dr. Grantly Dick-Read, Dr. Michel Odent, or Ina May Gaskin. If nothing else, these women are educating themselves, choosing to be active participants in the event of their child’s birth while benefiting from the specific knowledge and experience of a certified midwife or licensed doctor.

Yet, her cautions are not lost on me. Motivated by all of the Docblog’s criticisms of natural childbirth advocates, it must be clearly stated that:

Women should choose their health care provider carefully. Very carefully. Women interviewing a doctor or midwife should feel comfortable to ask as many questions as they see fit to receive the answers and reassurance they are seeking. When hiring a health care practitioner, one should always feel a level of strictest comfort and trust. If your practitioner makes you feel uneasy in any way, choose someone else. By its very nature, childbirth places women in an extremely vulnerable position both for herself and her child and, thus, requires that all practitioners be knowledgeable, trustworthy, and compassionate. In addressing Docblog’s argument that birth tragedies happen when the practitioner is found to be inexperienced or—worse—unqualified, I will make one last clear statement: of course midwives should be certified, credentialed and insured. That’s a requirement. That’s common sense. Hire a doctor or midwife that is qualified. If there are any doubts, investigate or make another selection. Otherwise, you might as well attempt it alone, and I would never advocate that.

In the end, the truth is —or maybe, more accurately—my truth is that truth is relative. A skilled author can cull together a group of facts and figures to support virtually any argument. Likewise, a capable debater can dispute a grouping of data simply by touting their own grouping of data. The trick is to be armed with enough knowledge, and not a little common sense, to wade through it all and draw an informed, deliberate conclusion. I have all the faith in the world that my peers are actively choosing to do just that.

Visit the homebirth debate for an in depth look at the chicanery that inspired this response.

Educate yourselves and your families. Make informed, responsible choices.

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Yesterday, my potty-training two year old had a banner day: she went to the bathroom every time she had to go. It was breakthrough not only because she had never made it all day with dry panties, but also she had been showing signs of disinterest. Ah, the ups and downs of potty training!

A couple of weeks ago, my little princess simply stated: “I don’t want to go potty anymore.” As I had been doing for a month or two, I gently offered the option frequently throughout the day. Her reply had grown to a very emphatic, “No.” And, so, I let it go. I stopped asking if she’d like to go use the potty. For a few days, it wasn’t even mentioned. Then, at the beginning of this week, her interest picked back up and she’s been slowly building to this point where she has been able to stay dry all day.

At this point, I am expecting her to continue to progress while still being prepared for the one step forward, two steps back phenomenon. Potty-training is such tricky business. These are a few of my practices that I think have helped her continue to progress with potty training.

• Stay positive. Don’t pressure. Give her space to test out the process without feeling failure or my disappointment when accidents happen—it’s her learning process to own, I’m just there to guide and give support. Let her feel proud when she uses the toilet successfully and then I show my pride, too.
• Give her the space to learn about the difference between using a diaper and using the toilet. Gently talk about going to the bathroom and that “feeling” of needing to go, discuss anatomy and function at her comfort level using words and phrases she can understand.
• Incentives do sometimes work. Some parents use treats (admittedly, I used M&M’s briefly during the turning point with my oldest.) Some parents offer earning toys or outings to the park. I am currently using a very specific incentive tool with my two year old: She loves wearing dresses, and she loves pretending to be a princess. She’s allowed to wear a “princess dress” when she goes on the potty. I tell her in a positive voice that princesses use the potty, and that seems to be inspiring for her.
• Understand that even when she shows no interest, the wheels in her brain are still processing it all. I really do believe that even when she refuses to go, it’s part of her process of learning to want to go.
• A couple of tools I’ve used:
  Time to Pee by Mo Willems. She loves this book and can recite it verbatim. It’s silly, gentle and fun.
  Once Upon a Potty for girls DVD. I’ve put this on once-in-a-while since she was about 18 months old just to help introduce some of the basic concepts of anatomy and using the potty. Its age-appropriate, and she really loves it. She has begun requesting it from time to time.

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Using cloth diapers on my toddler during a recent trip to New York City was not going to be a viable option. Laundering cloth diapers at a coin-op while on holiday? Not my idea of R&R. My solution was to test out a relatively new product to the U.S.—g diapers.

Though I later learned that they are not yet widely available, I was able to find a local retailer without much effort. I bought a starter kit which included two g diaper pants, liners, a swishstick and 10 flushable inserts. Admittedly, I had just about swooned at the package design that showcases unbelievably adorable images of babies wearing g pants.

I was so excited that I cracked open the box as soon as I got home. I eagerly read the directions, assembled the pant with liner and flushable insert, and diapered my daughter. Yep, it was incredibly cute. But, would it work? And, would it solve my travel dilemma?

The g diaper consists of a fitted fabric diaper, a snap-in plastic waterproof liner and a flushable insert. The flushable insert is designed to virtually dissolve in water once torn open, dropped into the toilet bowl and flushed. The product encourages parents to flush a baby’s output down the toilet, thereby keeping the family waste “where it belongs” in the sewage system. It also makes mess, clean-up and laundering more manageable and convenient than cloth diapering.

After a day or two, I quickly realized that the starter kit of two g diapers was probably not going to be enough. One of the biggest challenges was finding a g diaper retailer in Brooklyn. Apparently, g diapers are still getting on the map even in big cities like New York, and purchasing them became a scavenger hunt.

I went to three different locations (two of which were listed as retailers on the g diaper site) with no luck. At my last Brooklyn hopeful, Fairway in Red Hook, I hit the mother load. This overwhelmingly huge grocer had what I was looking for—another starter kit and refills. The only downfall? It was a 20 minute drive at the other end of the borough. (If you live in Brooklyn, it might be a hassle to get there, but they do deliver.)

With four diapers now at my disposal, I found the use of g diapers much more manageable. Given my circumstances of having no laundry, I was able to toggle between hand washing, air drying and having at least two or three g pants ready to go.

My month-long experience of actual use inspired mixed (mostly positive) emotions. G diapers really are a combination of disposable and cloth. Pros and Cons abound:

Leakage/Fit: I’ve had no incidence of leakage. And, they are a perfect, slim fit. A definite pro over cloth diapers.
**The recent redesign is softer and even better fitting than it’s predecessor.

Leakage/Liners: the liners are basically a re-purposing of a plastic diaper cover…they snap on the inside. The ingenious design eliminates the bulk of old-school plastic covers while preventing leaks. They do stain with use. A starter pack includes 2 liners for each diaper. Thankfully, the company’s online shop site sells a liner replacement 2 pack.

Inserts/Flushables: They’re very absorbent despite the fact that they bunch-up during wear. Future design improvements are sure to solve the bunching-up problem.

Flushing: I did flush the inserts down very old NYC plumbing with a little back up, but nothing that a plunge didn’t cure. In that respect, I think it’s fair to acknowledge flushing is not for everyone— a point the g diaper crew addresses on page four of the handy users guide (HUG.)

Mess: Like cloth diapering, you will have to touch poop (although not nearly as much.) With diapering, it’s a necessary evil. My husband will never be 100% on board with g diapers (or cloth for that matter.) But, he uses g diapers because contact is at a minimum. Plus, he loves me and our daughter and is willing to deal with it. Out of appreciation for his reluctant touching-of-poop, I am the primary diaperer. That’s a drawback, sigh, but they are cute.

Washing: The pants do need to be washed but don’t need all the extra effort of cloth diapers. The snap-in liners work so well that pre-soaking and scrubbing the pants are almost a non-issue. Using hot water isn’t necessary. Cold or warm water with the rest of your laundry works just fine. The colors do fade slightly but not beyond what’s reasonable.

Grandparents/extended family: Will not do g diapers (or cloth for that matter); They are disposable die-hards. For some, this may be an issue. For me, I don’t complain one bit! Thanks Mom and Dad for being willing to change poopy diapers at all!

Cost: A starter kit of 2 g pants, 4 snap-in waterproof liners and 10 flushables cost me $23-$25 depending on retailer. ($26.99 online @ g diaper.com) A refill pack of 32 flushables puts me back $15. Quite a bit more than disposables and more than I want to pay. Environmentally-conscious products = not cheap. A definite drawback. But, I still think it’s worth it.

g diapers vs. cloth vs. disposables: At home, I use a cloth pre-fold diaper as an insert for g diaper pants or a cloth fitted diaper. I have come to prefer the pre-fold/g diaper combo as it keeps baby dry, doesn’t bunch-up, and is more trim fitting than a cloth diaper with a plastic cover. It’s also saves on buying flushable refills. When away from home, I use g diapers with flushable inserts . That way, carrying around soiled diapers is at a minimum, and I don’t have to use disposables. Disposables are obviously the most convenient, but experts say they take 500 years to decompose!

My Verdict: I’m sold! There is no doubt that g diapers and flushables are my favorite choice for diapering our daughter. They’ve made it their mission to address the two biggest controversies of modern-day diapering: landfills overflowing with plastic disposable diapers vs. the clean water concerns of laundering cloth diapers. Although I’m quite happy with their product design, I do believe they may still be too much maintenance and/or cost for the American public to be sold on the concept.

In the end, I applaud the g crew for their dedication to being the best option out there. I definitely recommend them to anyone who is looking for a disposable diaper alternative but isn’t interested in cloth. I foresee g diapers continuing to perfect their product and, with that, greater mass appeal will follow.

A Daddy’s verdict: If they could figure out a way to make it so we don’t have to touch the poop, I’d be 100% sold on it.

So, g diaper company, keep doing what you’re doing! Make cute diapers that don’t fill up landfills and can be flushed down the toilet. Who knows? With you at the helm, that next evolution—a healthy, safe, totally biodegradable g diaper seems only a matter of time.

Check out g diapers online.

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Part Two of Two: Why Choose FAM
By Red Pen Mama (earthmother’s sister-in-law)

In the first part of this series, I talked a little bit about the “how” of the Fertility Awareness Method (also known as Natural Family Planning). The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH, is an in-depth look into FAM, and should be closely read by everyone interested in using the method.

Although FAM provides information about when you are fertile by charting signs of ovulation, it is not just a method for pregnancy achievement or birth control. All women of menstruating age can use FAM to learn about their individual cycles. FAM provides valuable information about what is normal for you and your body, and can be used to make all types of health care or family planning decisions. It can even provide a clear answer to the question, asked by doctors, gynecologists and midwives the world over: “When was your last period?” How often have you guessed the answer to that question? “Oh, I think it was the first week of April, maybe? Or was it late March?” With FAM, you can simply refer to your chart and have an exact date.

A Few Reasons Why You Should Use FAM

1. As a birth control method, FAM is hormone free. If you choose to have intercourse when you are ovulating, you can be sure to “double up” on the barrier method you choose, for example, using both a sponge and a condom.
2. It is easy. As I said last time, it requires commitment to follow, but once you learn how to chart your cycle, it is a piece of cake.
3. It doesn’t take a lot of time. Last article I compared it to brushing your teeth. FAM takes about the same amount of time to follow – maybe two minutes a day, total, less than brushing!
4. It takes the guesswork out of your cycle. Over time, using FAM tells you how long your cycles tend to be, if you ovulate, when you tend to ovulate (Day 11, Day 17, Day 25?), when to expect the start of your period (you can schedule vacations so you don’t have to deal with the hassle of pads and tampons!), and, if there is a problem, you’ll see it right away and have the information you need for your healthcare provider.
5. You will know if you are pregnant. If you have 18 or more high temperatures after your thermal shift, congratulations! You’re going to be a mother. You’ll even know the likely date of conception, another important day for your healthcare giver to know.

Why I Use FAM

The primary reason I use FAM is because I am 36 years old, and the side effects of hormonal methods of birth control grow more dangerous after age 35. I find most barrier methods inconvenient, distasteful, or uncomfortable. But for the record, I also use FAM because I am Catholic. Natural Family Planning is condoned for family planning by the Catholic Church, and that means a lot to me and my faith relationship with God.

When my husband DearDR and I married, we knew we didn’t want to start a family right away. We used condoms, but neither of us liked them because of the lack of sensation – and, as Catholics, we wanted to be stronger in practicing our faith. I had been on the Pill for seven years in my 20s, and now at 30, I didn’t want to start it again. I stumbled onto Taking Charge of Your Fertility, learned the method, and faithfully applied it. We abstained (or did “other stuff”) during my fertile time (only a few days, usually about a week), and enjoyed worry-free intercourse the rest of my cycle.

After a year, we decided to start trying to have a baby. We didn’t have to try long; the first time we had sex near ovulation, we conceived my son, Gabriel. Unfortunately, Gabriel was stillborn at 37 weeks, a heartbreak we will never get over.

Six months after our loss, we were tentatively ready to start trying to have another baby. Three months later, using the signs of ovulation to plan our intercourse, we again conceived. Today we have a healthy and happy little girl, Monkey, who will be three years old in November.

Then, I must admit, FAM took a backseat. I stopped charting altogether. Oh, I would occasionally tell DearDR that I had fertile fluid, and we would abstain (or whatever), but I wasn’t charting or using any birth control (unless you count the “withdrawal” method — and you shouldn’t!). Thus was conceived our sweet Bun, definitely on the early side of our five-year plan. By about a year. (DearDR still doesn’t believe she’s his because no one in his family has ever been that early.)

I am using FAM again. It is a little challenging now as I get early wake-up calls from our 9-month-old daughter. Also, I am still breastfeeding, and that definitely impacts my cycle, usually by delaying ovulation (I have many of days of fertile-quality fluid). But I know what to look for, and DearDR and I know we are not ready for another. If we decide to try to add to the fun, FAM will let us know if we can, and will give us the signs to provide optimal success.

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Part One of Two: The Basics of FAM
By Red Pen Mama (Earthmother’s sister-in-law)

A Little about Me
I am the 36-year-old stay-at-home mom of two girls, Monkey (turning 3 years old in November) and Bun (9 months old); I lost a child in 2003 (pertinent to the discussion in Part II), my son Gabriel. Like Earthmother, I advocate for natural childbirth, midwifery, vegetarianism (my two girls and I are vegetarians), and, well, just a lot of things that you find on this site. Earthmom & I are quite like-minded.

She asked me to write about the Fertility Awareness Method for her site, and I am quite honored to comply. I have been using the Fertility Awareness Method for most of my 6-year-old marriage to DearDR. FAM is also known as Natural Family Planning (NFP), but for brevity’s sake, I’ll just refer to it as FAM. It is my chosen method of birth control, but it has other far-reaching benefits, which I will talk more about in Part II.

What You Need to Know about FAM

Most of the discussion here is taken from the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH. I am not going to teach you how to chart your cycles; please, please go to the book to learn how to use FAM.

The most important thing to know about FAM is this: it is not the Rhythm Method! The Rhythm Method is based on the premise that the menstrual cycle (from period to period) is 28 days, and that ovulation occurs on day 14. Although this is true for some women, it seems safe to say that it certainly is not true for most women. I, for one, have never had a 28-day cycle; my cycles have always been on the long side, from 32 to 36 days (and occasionally longer). So let’s forget all about the Rhythm Method, and learn about what FAM truly is.

FAM uses three signs of ovulation to determine the ins and outs of your menstrual cycle. Some of the things you will learn about using FAM are:

• The best time to have intercourse if you want to achieve pregnancy;
• When to avoid intercourse or use a barrier method of birth control if you seek to avoid pregnancy;
• When to expect your next period;
• Whether or not you are even ovulating;
• Whether or not you are pregnant.

The three signs that you will learn how to chart are: waking temperature (also called basal body temperature); cervical fluid; and cervical position. All you need is a digital thermometer, a way to keep track of your temps and observations (charts are available in Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but you could probably devise your own if you wanted) and a little patience as you learn FAM.

Let me assure you right upfront: FAM is not at all difficult to learn or use. It does require a serious commitment, but once it becomes a habit, it’s as simple as brushing your teeth. Really, I am not exaggerating – just as you learned to brush your teeth at least twice a day (or after every meal), you can apply FAM throughout your cycle to know what is going on with your body.

In a nutshell, this is how you practice FAM. Every day:

• Before you do anything else when you wake up in the morning (roll over to kiss the hubby, get up to pee), take your temperature;
• Check your cervical fluid throughout the day (you can check when you go to the bathroom; you can use your finger or toilet tissue);
• Check your cervical position (this step is optional; I haven’t used it, and FAM is still effective for me);
• Chart your findings: waking temp, fluid and/or vaginal sensation, and cervical position.

You will observe the signs that are natural and normal for you. Day 1 of the chart is the first day of your period. If you are ovulating, you will clearly see the changes in your cervical fluid from dry, to sticky, to creamy and then egg-white (the most obvious sign of impending ovulation) and back to dry or sticky until your period. Your temperatures will fall into a certain range until ovulation, and then there will be a thermal shift (your morning temperatures will increase). If you do not get pregnant, 12 to 16 days after the thermal shift, you will have your period.

Other things you can note on the charts provided in TCOYF: when you have sex; if you use a barrier method of birth control (if you know you are ovulating and you don’t want to get pregnant); miscellaneous things that can affect your cycle. You may even note physical changes, such as breast tenderness, bloating, irritability or a tendency to tear up (when I start PMS’ing, I can cry during a diaper commercial) that let you know premenstrual syndrome may be coming on.

See Also: FAM for You: Why you should choose FAM

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Cloth Diapering is not exactly the norm these days. It’s estimated that a mere 10% of families are choosing cotton to cover their babies’ bottoms. Not quite a widespread phenomenon.

In fact, many parents of our parents’ generation chose disposable diapers, which back then was “the new advancement in diapering.” No Mess. No Laundering. Just roll it up and toss. Sounds great and convenient. Back then, they just didn’t put much forethought into where all those diapers would go after use.

There are few parents who haven’t heard the statistics that it takes 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose or that the average baby uses 8,000 diapers before being potty trained. The convenience of disposables versus the cost savings and environmental-friendliness of cloth poses quite a dilemma.

For a variety of reasons, I diapered my first child with disposables. Because I was never completely comfortable with it, I potty trained him at 2 years when he showed the first signs of interest. Thankfully, he happily trained quickly.

With my second child well into toddlerhood, I began to notice an increasing number of women in my social circle were choosing (adorable!) cloth for their babies. I decided to explore the subject to see if it would be a viable option for me so late in the game.

I met Lisa Clarke of greenearthbaby.com, a wonderful online cloth diapering shop, who graciously showed me the ropes. I also tested out g-diapers—a diaper that combines the convenience of disposables with the earth-friendliness of cloth. Both of these experiences have reassured me that convenience is not all it racked up to be.

I started to question myself as to why I hadn’t explored the option sooner. I headed to a host of national retailers to reinforce what the average American mom has at her easy access. I visited several local shops including Babies R Us, Toys R Us, Burlington Coat Factory’s “Baby Depot,” Target, and Kmart. (As a matter of personal choice, I do not patronize Wal-Mart and did not include them in my experiment.)

It turns out that the national retailers only carry the old-school rectangular cotton cloths that have to be folded, pinned and used with a plastic cover—the most inconvenient offering on the market. No fitted diapers and certainly no fitted diapers with sewn-in covers (all-in-ones) were to be found. The plastic covers for sale are the old elastic-legged, pull-on covers that aren’t exactly easy to put on a squirming child. It’s no wonder I hadn’t had exposure to cloth with my son. These selections showed no signs of representing 21st century advancements in technology.

Couple the lack of availability of cloth with the market saturation of disposables, and it’s not difficult to put two and two together. The big name companies have made billions of dollars by making it so easy to use disposables that most parents find them to be the obvious choice.

That is, until parents begin to realize that they could save thousands of dollars by using cloth, even with the extra water usage that’s required for laundering. Likewise, if more parents were aware that toddlers tend to potty train up to a year younger when diapered in cloth—and, thus be free of the whole ritual sooner—many may be swayed to switch.

Or, perhaps if the disadvantages were more widely known, disposables may seem less attractive. One undesirable aspect of disposables is that they are saturated with a host of chemicals; a fact that presents health risk concerns such as higher incidence of asthma and potential for lower sperm production post-puberty. And, of course, there is the ever-present issue of the environmental impact of non-decomposing plastic and rotting waste in dump sites that scientists say will likely become hosting grounds for disease. Not a pretty picture for our children’s future.

So, what’s a modern woman to do? The best place to buy and learn about cloth diapering is online. You can read countless reviews of brands, opinions about use as well as some incredibly compelling research. It’s the perfect forum to learn with zero pressure to buy. Then, it’s your choice to buy from an online store or search for a retailer in your area.

And, judging by the online testimonies of thousands of parents, you will be inspired to make that initial purchase of swaddlebees or kushies. And, like them, you will probably join the growing numbers of parents who have fell in love with using cloth on their baby’s bottoms.

See also:

Cloth Diapering 101

Cloth Diapering on greenearthbaby.com

More great diapering information sites:

National Association of Diaper Services

Diaper Pin

the diaper hyena

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