During my first childbirth class, we watched a video of a newborn who, after being placed on his mother’s belly directly following birth, wriggled and squirmed until he reached her breast and immediately began to suckle. It was, to put it mildly, quite a feat. While I understood that the childbirth educator was trying to inspire a little bit of “awe in nature’s magic” motivation, I just sat there wondering how my experience would measure up. Would I be a successful breastfeeder? Would I be able to stick with it if nature didn’t take it’s proposed course? Oh, the pressure. And, it hadn’t even begun yet.

In the beginning, we might expect the baby to automatically latch on and commence with the nursing immediately following birth. And, why not? Women are lead to believe that breastfeeding should be an innate function of motherhood that just comes naturally. Effortless breastfeeding? It just doesn’t happen that way.

That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s not worth pursuing. It also doesn’t mean that we should ignore the challenges or withhold compassion for the struggling new mom. What it does mean is that women shouldn’t be set up for failure.

Yet, the true-to-life experience of breastfeeding is rarely acknowledged in the public forum. The reality of the difficult, frustrating first weeks postpartum that has driven many mothers to tears is scarcely offered for consideration or comfort. If more women knew that these first few weeks would drastically improve once mom and baby work out the kinks, more moms might stick with it.

And, so I say it here: Breastfeeding is tough— plain and simple. To say the least, it’s a challenging physical maneuver. A mother has to be aware of letdown and latch-on. And, who knew that positioning the baby in the crux of your forearm like a football can sometimes be the most comfortable and effective for both parties involved?!

The whole process can oftentimes feel like an intricate tightrope act during which mom and baby attempt to embrace without disrupting balance, without losing patience. In many cases, one or both end up in tears. I guarantee it’s not for lack of trying.

Then, of course, there’s the psychological facet of breastfeeding. The emotional changes that occur postpartum will hopefully lead to the acceptance of a new identity—primarily that of nurturer and nourisher. It’s a normal human reaction to experience a bit of anxiety during this challenging transition from woman to mother. The test of character involved in making this passage cannot be understated.

What makes breastfeeding work is will. And, you also have to relax a little. And, have patience. At the risk of sounding glib, the relationship really just takes time to grow. With persistence, the cracked nipples, the weak latches and the uncomfortable positioning will all blossom into a peaceful, precious exchange. Say what you will about the ease of bottle-feeding, but there is nothing like the skin-on-skin closeness of nursing.

Truly, there is a beauty in the act that can’t be denied. Enduring all of the hassle and heartache to nurture one’s child is incredibly fulfilling, not to mention the advantages of the mutual health benefits. The knowledge that mothers alone have the gift to do this is particularly empowering. The return on investment is pretty great.

Still, so many women decide not to breastfeed their babies. Not even for the first few critical weeks, much less months. I proffer that women could use a little more support from both society-at-large and moms in the trenches. If any progress is to be made, we first have to address the dizzying amount of misconceptions about breastfeeding and motherhood.

I hereby propose that there is a dirty underbelly of mothering that should be celebrated; that should be explicitly and openly discussed as normal. As any real-live mom will tell you, mothering is a beautiful experience but, by no means, is it always pretty.

To that end, I offer this suggestion:
New mothers should have the opportunity to share their experiences as soon as possible. Hospitals should offer group breastfeeding tutorials to new moms before being discharged postpartum. Yes, the private in-room instruction by a lactation consultant is valuable. But, let’s go one further. Let the LC address a group of moms as a whole. Imagine a roomful of women being given advice and support, together. Imagine a forum in which nervous, postpartum moms could SEE firsthand that every other mom is going through similar experiences and has the similar questions, problems, concerns. Imagine a group of women laughing (and crying) through the learning process together, instead of being isolated in a stark, sterile hospital room. I’d be willing to wager that there would be a lot less tension, a lot more widespread confidence and a stronger mothering community. There would also be alot more breastfeed babies. Then, again, I always have been one to hope for the possible.

If you’re looking for resources on breastfeeding, these are three good ones:

Kellymom.com
La Leche League
Breastfedbabies.org (includes helpful photos of positioning)

I highly recommend going to a La Leche League meeting rather then calling them for advice. It’s the best place I know of where a new mom can meet other non-judgmental moms who are in the same boat. It’s the closest thing you’ll find to my group-breastfeeding suggestion described above as all meetings are lead by an educated, registered League Leader.

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Today we’re kicking off the first day of World Breastfeeding Week by posting a fabulous video chronicling the birth of the La Leche League. The League began in the 1950’s when seven revolutionary women held their first meeting. Their aim? To support the women in the community who wished to breastfeed their babies but found few resources. The group was so successful in promoting awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding that subsequent chapters formed in other communities and, eventually, the LLL spread nationwide. Currently, the LLL is considered the foremost international breastfeeding support organization. Thought by some to be a militant group of suburban moms, the LLL is anything but. They are simply just a compassionate group of women who strive to be a listening ear and provide positive encouragement for moms who take on the sometimes difficult task of breastfeeding. You may be surprised by the origins of the organization, the easy-going nature of it’s founders, and the global impact the LLL has made on mothers and babies in the last 50 years. Check it out!

For a thorough resource of breastfeeding information, check out the La Leche League’s seminal publication The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

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Wednesday, August 1st, begins a worldwide week-long celebration of breastfeeding. In an effort to raise awareness of the wonderful benefits of nursing for both mothers and babies, many communities are hosting events. Check your local book stores, libraries, community centers for events in your area.

If you live in Pittsburgh, check out the event being hosted by local chapters of the La Leche League at the South Hills Barnes and Noble on Saturday, August 4th from 10 am-noon. Enjoy a special story time addressing the bond created by breastfeeding, a topical discussion is scheduled, and a panel of lactation experts will be on hand to answer questions. Also, books discussing breastfeeding will be on display in a special section honoring World Breastfeeding Week. Fun for the whole family, it will be a great opportunity to get out and meet other parents who support breastfeeding.
Go to the La Leche League website to find a chapter near you or to to browse their informational sections. Kellymom is another great support site for breastfeeding moms.

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