Yesterday, my potty-training two year old had a banner day: she went to the bathroom every time she had to go. It was breakthrough not only because she had never made it all day with dry panties, but also she had been showing signs of disinterest. Ah, the ups and downs of potty training!

A couple of weeks ago, my little princess simply stated: “I don’t want to go potty anymore.” As I had been doing for a month or two, I gently offered the option frequently throughout the day. Her reply had grown to a very emphatic, “No.” And, so, I let it go. I stopped asking if she’d like to go use the potty. For a few days, it wasn’t even mentioned. Then, at the beginning of this week, her interest picked back up and she’s been slowly building to this point where she has been able to stay dry all day.

At this point, I am expecting her to continue to progress while still being prepared for the one step forward, two steps back phenomenon. Potty-training is such tricky business. These are a few of my practices that I think have helped her continue to progress with potty training.

• Stay positive. Don’t pressure. Give her space to test out the process without feeling failure or my disappointment when accidents happen—it’s her learning process to own, I’m just there to guide and give support. Let her feel proud when she uses the toilet successfully and then I show my pride, too.
• Give her the space to learn about the difference between using a diaper and using the toilet. Gently talk about going to the bathroom and that “feeling” of needing to go, discuss anatomy and function at her comfort level using words and phrases she can understand.
• Incentives do sometimes work. Some parents use treats (admittedly, I used M&M’s briefly during the turning point with my oldest.) Some parents offer earning toys or outings to the park. I am currently using a very specific incentive tool with my two year old: She loves wearing dresses, and she loves pretending to be a princess. She’s allowed to wear a “princess dress” when she goes on the potty. I tell her in a positive voice that princesses use the potty, and that seems to be inspiring for her.
• Understand that even when she shows no interest, the wheels in her brain are still processing it all. I really do believe that even when she refuses to go, it’s part of her process of learning to want to go.
• A couple of tools I’ve used:
  Time to Pee by Mo Willems. She loves this book and can recite it verbatim. It’s silly, gentle and fun.
  Once Upon a Potty for girls DVD. I’ve put this on once-in-a-while since she was about 18 months old just to help introduce some of the basic concepts of anatomy and using the potty. Its age-appropriate, and she really loves it. She has begun requesting it from time to time.