I’ve heard through a few different sources that a local hospital specializing in woman care currently has an epidural rate of 97%. That means that 97% of laboring pregnant women admitted into the hospital are administered an epidural. Such a high, almost unbelieveable rate makes me question how many of these women actually need it? How many are convinced that there is no other alternative to experiencing labor and coping with the discomfort that ensues?

This brings up the issue of how women experience childbirth pain. Or, more importantly, how women are taught to fear the experience of childbirth pain—through the media and other social avenues—and how that fear effects the experience of labor and delivery—both emotionally and physically. Dr. Grantly Dick-Read studied the phenomenon of the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle. He observed the ways in which the experience of fear lead to whole body tension which caused an increase in the experience of pain which leads to an increase of fear and so on. Seem simple? Well, it is, unless you’re the person trapped in this cycle feeling as if there is no way out. Thanks to Dr. Dick-Read, there are many, many ways in which women can become aware of the inaccurate, often negative social attitude and perception of labor, overcome these cultural misconceptions and have a positive healthy childbirth experience.

Want to learn more about Dr. Dick Read and his groundbreaking approach? Check back to earthmother.org as we explore the fear-tension-pain cycle and how understanding it can be used toward a positively fearless birth.

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Yesterday, my potty-training two year old had a banner day: she went to the bathroom every time she had to go. It was breakthrough not only because she had never made it all day with dry panties, but also she had been showing signs of disinterest. Ah, the ups and downs of potty training!

A couple of weeks ago, my little princess simply stated: “I don’t want to go potty anymore.” As I had been doing for a month or two, I gently offered the option frequently throughout the day. Her reply had grown to a very emphatic, “No.” And, so, I let it go. I stopped asking if she’d like to go use the potty. For a few days, it wasn’t even mentioned. Then, at the beginning of this week, her interest picked back up and she’s been slowly building to this point where she has been able to stay dry all day.

At this point, I am expecting her to continue to progress while still being prepared for the one step forward, two steps back phenomenon. Potty-training is such tricky business. These are a few of my practices that I think have helped her continue to progress with potty training.

• Stay positive. Don’t pressure. Give her space to test out the process without feeling failure or my disappointment when accidents happen—it’s her learning process to own, I’m just there to guide and give support. Let her feel proud when she uses the toilet successfully and then I show my pride, too.
• Give her the space to learn about the difference between using a diaper and using the toilet. Gently talk about going to the bathroom and that “feeling” of needing to go, discuss anatomy and function at her comfort level using words and phrases she can understand.
• Incentives do sometimes work. Some parents use treats (admittedly, I used M&M’s briefly during the turning point with my oldest.) Some parents offer earning toys or outings to the park. I am currently using a very specific incentive tool with my two year old: She loves wearing dresses, and she loves pretending to be a princess. She’s allowed to wear a “princess dress” when she goes on the potty. I tell her in a positive voice that princesses use the potty, and that seems to be inspiring for her.
• Understand that even when she shows no interest, the wheels in her brain are still processing it all. I really do believe that even when she refuses to go, it’s part of her process of learning to want to go.
• A couple of tools I’ve used:
  Time to Pee by Mo Willems. She loves this book and can recite it verbatim. It’s silly, gentle and fun.
  Once Upon a Potty for girls DVD. I’ve put this on once-in-a-while since she was about 18 months old just to help introduce some of the basic concepts of anatomy and using the potty. Its age-appropriate, and she really loves it. She has begun requesting it from time to time.

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Fear can be overcome only by Faith.

–Dr. Grantly Dick-Read

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